Dec 28, 2009

|| merry jesusmas ||

i'm not going to lie. the best part about my holiday was my 2 far.

they are, inexplicably, perfect. they love me constantly. i don't know that i deserve the love they give me, and i don't know if i appreciate it enough...but its the most real thing in my life. and i will squeeze the life out of the love they show me.

i like to think i can connect with people, reach them in a personal place, then call them a friend. i have done this really well over the years. most of my co-workers, and ex-co-workers are still friends. the guys and girls i grew up with in church, are still my friends. so i really do think i have this down pat...

but none of these great friends and relationships move me...not like my babies do. as i continue to fail in the realm of love, and continue to feel alone when i am surrounded by people who care about me...i find myself thinking of them constantly.

so yeah, i do want a i have to take a wife too? and yes, i am jealous of my friends that have kids. i am jealous of my lil sister and her husband. i am jealous of everyone around me that has a kid to love everyday.

sheesh i am sappy. and i kind of hate myself for it sometimes...

the nieces remind me of one of my favorite movie actually...

"to me, you are perfect."


Dec 14, 2009

|| the season ||

i am not a huge fan of christmas.

why do people start having parties all the sudden? you can have people over anytime, but during the holidays you get 1,000 evites.

family drama. everyone has it...and it just comes to life every christmas. my family is pretty tame...and we all get along pretty well. but even we have strange crap come up out of the blue. (like who goes to what house at what time on what day...)

some the music is the worst part.
terrible and annoying songs, with words that don't make sense, and idiotic ideas. deck the halls? why not deck the living room, or deck the basement?

i said all of that to say, we did a christmas special at church on sunday night. it went pretty well. there some musician mistakes, but that is expected with guys who are playing 20 songs and reading music for half of them. even i was reading music, and i haven't done that in 5-6 years.

but overall it was a really nice night of fun and singing. what was weird, is that i watched people worship to songs that i never considered worshiping to. it kind of caught me off guard...but i realized that people can (and will) worship to whatever moves them. the birth of jesus was an amazing moment, and people worshipped to the greatness of that moment. i was overwhelmed by how god could move through a bunch of (what i deem) silly songs.

so the question is:
if the idea of christmas (and jesus' birth) is that powerful, why do we only dwell on it and sing those songs for 31 days?

ps-the other thing i found overwhelming last night was the song go tell it on the mountain. not really the song, but how it was recieved. nwb is a pretty stoic place most of the time, but it turned borderline party. i'm sure it was everybody just swaying around to my awesome beats...right...but it was definitely different for our crowd.


Dec 8, 2009

|| tombstone ||

i wish i had taken notes...

what an amazing movie. i wasn't feeling well yesterday, so i actually went home and didn't move. just sat on the couch and hung out. watched a movie and played some video games...which bring me to my topic...tombstone.

have you ever noticed all the "big names" in that movie? go check it out on boothe, terry o'quinn, val kilmer, kurt russell, sam elliott, jason preistly, charlton of the delany girls, billy bob thornton, frank stallone, billy, what a list.

and what a killer movie. totally quotable. and totally memorable. i like to innerject movie lines into conversation, because i think its funny...this one might take the cake.

"i'll be your huckleberry"
"i stand corrected wyatt, you're an oak"

perfect night in. i suggest watching this a hundred times. the 'dark knight' brilliant. i was completely blown away.

Dec 7, 2009

|| heart attack ||

... i had one saturday.

man, i love my longhorns. i just do. they didn't play well, but found a way to win. i can't believe it. i kind of figured that the 2005 championship was the only one i would see in my lifetime. maybe even the only championship game i would see in my lifetime.

let's get the obvious out of the way...last year's team was better, and would have won had they made it to the game against florida...but that is a different conversation all together.

this year, is going to be interesting. the defense is nasty. they blitz, they pick off passes, and they change the game. the offense has good and bad games. its hard to peg them. colt is not having a great year...i mean, his mediocre year is better than most, but he was much better last year.

as far as the alabama game...i am shocked they beat florida that bad. i think they are overrated, but they are undefeated. it annoys the crap out of me, when people argue that texas just squeaked by nebraska and a&m...but bama squeaked by tennessee and auburn. what is the difference?

at the end of the day, they are both undefeated in strong conferences. i think its going to be a great game. i think both defenses are really good. i think it comes down to which qb has a better game. i'm gonna go homer (even though they are both from texas) and say that colt has a batter game. he is also older, and has played in more big games.

Texas 35 - Alabama 24

Dec 3, 2009

|| prank call ||

i got a prank call last night.

yeah, a prank call. i'm almost 30, what the hell. i'm sure it was dumb ex gf (well, one of her friends)...but really? am i in high school?

i thought i dated better girls than that. at least girls who were a little more mature then that. its one thing to be pissed at me, or think i'm a jerk...because those instances are well documented...but prank call?

i feel like allen iverson here..."practice? we're talking about practice? not the games, but practice?"

at least come up with a better story...(as if the blocked number wasn't enough to tip me off)

"hey, my name is ___, i met you at city tavern a few weeks ago, you gave me your number...the tall red head? oh, you don't remember? wow, i'm kind of embarrased..."

first off, i don't have the balls to hit on a complete stranger. never have.
secondly, a tall read head? i don't like taller girls, and don't have much history with redheads.
third, pick a bar i actually go to on a regular basis...
last but not least, bar girls aren't my type...

the fact that someone went to the trouble of trying to make me mad/upset/(insert feeling) is hilrious. the feelings that matter to me are the feelings i feel on my own. there is nothing you can do to make me feel any more mad/upset/(insert feeling) than i can do on my own, to myself.

get a life.


Dec 2, 2009

|| tiger ||

media needs to back off...

i know the media says they have the right to report whatever they want...and that star athletes know that this is part of their job...but they are dangerously close to crossing the line.

every dude has messed up somehow/somewhere. we all sin and fall short...sure, some of us try harder than others, and some are better at avoiding temptations...but the media attention that this whole thing is getting is downright malicious.

why couldn't it just be, "tiger got in a wreck...there might have been a family dispute...he has minor injuries...he's not going to play in the next tourney." bam, end of story.

if this is such a big deal (at least they are making it one), why wasn't this a story before, if it is a story now? when tiger was winning, pumping his fist, putting out video games...why weren't they digging then?

classic kick a man while he is down. its bs.

i don't even like golf or tiger that much, but this really gets me fired up...let the man live his life. let him work through his problems on his own. he doesn't owe "us" anything. we owe him. we owe him respect and some level of privacy.

(btw, screw the ho's that are selling their "stories" to the tabloids. fu, get a job.)


|| snow day ||

i know its not really a big deal...and it certainly didn't hang around very long, but we don't get snow here in dallas very often. it was nice to wake up to it.

which brings me to my second was nice to wake up today. on monday, i had a really rough day. several things contributed to an emotional mess in my head. maybe it is this time of year and the stress that come with it. i stuff, parties, gifts...its just rough.

at some point, it will all pass, and i'll wish i was able to enjoy the season...but right now, i can't wait for january. i don't wanna hear christmas music, i don't wanna go shopping, and i don't wanna deal with hank-tacular pissing in the apt because its too cold to go outside...

(i'll give him props though, he went in the snow this morning)


Dec 1, 2009

|| poppin the blog cherry || go easy on me.

honestly, i got jealous of all the cool people in my life that write cool blogs, and i thought i should too. lord knows what i'll come up with...but it will probably be will most likely expose my many flaws...and will definitely let you into my crazy world.

i mean, i am what i am...kind of like popeye...without the lanky ass girlfriend, muscles, or punching skills. but i know what my skin is. i know how i feel about my skin. and i'm ok with it.

i guess this might be a way to find out what others think of my skin...or my thoughts.

maybe this will be a daily thing, maybe not. maybe i'll talk about my life, and maybe i'll make fun of others. i will definitely misspell words, use incomplete sentences, ignore the shift button, and most likely piss someone off...but i'm kind of expecting that.

i hope you tune in.